No, this blog is not about my period. At least not yet. Sometimes my posts end up in a very different place than I began, so really it's anyone's guess as to what topic this post will end on. But for now it is not about my period. It's about feminism. Well, kind of.
Okay, so I'm a long-time Sex and the City fan. Nod, fist pump or groan here, whatever your stance, I don't really give a shit. I like it, and while I respect people who don't like it (to each their own and all that), I don't really understand people who adamantly don't like the show. Unless you're a man. Or a woman who doesn't like awesome TV shows with full-frontal nudity. I maintain that this show offers a bevy of insight to the female psyche. And on another level I just like seeing what bat-shit crazy outfits SJP dares to wear in public. And why does she wear a bra with everything? Her boobs aren't that big. Sometimes you can forego a little extra support to avoid everyone seeing your lacy black bra hanging out of your dress. Or just wear a strapless! If you can afford couture clothing and $400 shoes that are never duplicated in an episode, you can afford a friggin' strapless bra.
If you've never seen the show (gasp!), I will fill you in. There are four women that live in Manhattan and are best friends. Carrie, who is a writer, wears ridiculous clothing and spends more than she makes. She's small and thin, kooky and witty, and has issues with men. Samantha, who is a publicist, is the oldest of the bunch and has sex with anyone with a hard body (no pun intended). She's sassy, brassy, and--being the whore of the group--has issues with men. Charlotte, who originally is the manager/curator of an art gallery and eventually becomes a housewife, is incredibly uptight and kinda prude. She comes from old money and is often aghast at the outlandish behavior of her friends, but is sweet and has issues with men. Miranda, who is a lawyer, is the sarcastic redheaded ball-buster who delivers one-liners like it's her job. She's the most self-aware of the bunch and has issues with men. Cue hilarious antics regarding common relationship and life struggles.
Moving right along in this blog post that wasn't supposed to be about Sex and the City, there's an episode in the second season where the four women are sitting together at lunch/brunch/coffee/vats of alcohol discussing their recent relationship woes/struggles/victories/embarrassing sexual escapades. Miranda, the one that everyone thought was a lesbian until she let her hair grow out and had a baby with a man, gets frustrated and tries to change the subject. When nobody can stray from their man topic, she gets pissed off and storms out after delivering the following thought:
"How did it happen that four such smart women have nothing to talk about but boyfriends? It's like seventh grade with bank accounts."
BAHA! 7th grade with bank accounts. Oh, Miranda, you slay me.
But seriously... have you ever noticed that women talk about men? Like... a lot?
It's arguable that the reason women talk about men is because we as a gender are very focused on relationships, romantic or otherwise, and our interactions with other people. I have my own theories, mostly that the majority of (straight) women get their validation from male attention, and blah blah blah something something we need better hobbies and stuff. Don't get me wrong, there's no shame in discussing men or your relationships with them, as long as we learn from things and grow. So often we don't do either of those things, and we just get stuck on some kind of emotional plateau. Worrying about the difference between "love you" and "love ya" is fine in high school, but as a 28 year-old, perhaps you should be investing your time elsewhere, like worrying about whether or not there will be a 3rd Sex and the City movie (I love this franchise, but come ON people. Enough is enough).
The root of this rant is a radio show I heard while driving home tonight. It was a radio station that plays pop and mostly top 40 music, so I'm not entirely sure what I expected, but I was a little disgusted with the discussion happening between the three women on the air. First they were talking about whether or not they "can do" monogamy. One of them came out with this gem: "I really enjoy being able to say, 'next, next, next' to guys and do what I want with them and then move on without any emotional attachment. But I mean, not in a slutty way."
Wrap you head around that while I move on to the next part.
They segued into the topic of flirting vs. hitting on. Let me say that again. They were debating the difference between a man flirting with a woman, and a man hitting on a woman, and whether one is closer to adultery than the other. The hostess of the show maintained that flirting is harmless and is just something men do to be friendly to women, but that hitting on a woman is a clear move toward sex and is punishable if you're in a committed relationship. She also said that women are so often "desperate enough" to "misread signals" of men who are "only wanting to flirt a little bit".
.............Am I the only one flabbergasted by this entire concept? Yeah, okay, I'm not saying that a guy who is married should be sent to the stocks for being friendly to another woman (unless he's my husband), and I GUESS if you consider being friendly the same thing as flirting (which I don't), you shouldn't worry about it. But to say that women are so stupid that they shouldn't get worked up by a man showing interest and being friendly to them? That is both insulting AND goes against the idea that "YOUR HUSBAND IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER DON'T DISCOUNT ANY MAN YOU SHOULD KEEP UP YOUR STANDARDS BUT DON'T BE SO PICKY THAT YOU WIND UP ALONE AND MISERABLE WITH 34 CATS!!!!" that this radio show also seems to promote. Can't we please just stop all these inane conversations and confusing ourselves? As if women don't have enough to worry about between the menstruating and the being arrested for naming rapists, let's add another level of bullshit called DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN FLIRTING AND HITTING ON. Oh my GOD I want to smash something right now. Seriously, I haven't been this worked up over a topic on this ridiculous show since the hostess told a caller that her gaining weight was the reason her marriage is falling apart. Yeah, I know, I probably shouldn't listen to it anymore, but it's like a train-wreck. It makes me sad but I can't look away.
My friend is always telling me how lucky I am to be married and out of the singles' scene. I usually brush these thoughts aside because married life is not always perfect, but if it means that I have to have one fewer conversation about stupid shit like whether a guy flirting with me is actually interested in me or whether I'm just misreading his signals and holy crap this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard, I wholeheartedly agree.
