I've been a mother for one month. When I was pregnant, my friend's mother told me that once the baby was born, it would feel like she had always been with me. This is true, I have a hard time remember what it felt like to not have a 10 pound meatloaf attached to me at all times. But it's still completely bizarre at the same time.
I've heard that there is nothing like motherly wisdom and I have to agree, I have learned a lot of things in this relatively short period of time. Not all of them apply to outside life or anyone who hasn't had a newborn baby, but I've decided to keep track as I accumulate them for my own amusement.
Primarily, becoming a mother means having all new choices in life. Having a baby who only sleeps for short periods of time during the day means having to allot every day tasks into time slots. For example, during her morning nap I have about 20 minutes. I can choose to do laundry or take a shower. Afternoon nap is anywhere from 10 minutes to three hours. I can choose to clean the house or take a nap and, if I'm lucky, poop. Laundry and poop usually win out over all others.
Every day is a lesson in feeling guilty about something. Either it's not getting the laundry done and having your husband left with no clean clothes, or feeling guilty about laughing at the baby's cries when they sound like a goat.
You can much longer without eating than you think. All it takes is a baby attached to your arm before you realize that it's 4pm and you haven't eaten anything all day and still don't feel hungry. It also makes it harder to eat anything substantial because you have no time, so sometimes all you can eat is a couple cookies. No wonder my ass is getting bigger.
Poop is not nearly as disgusting as you think it is. At least not as disgusting as I thought. Seriously, I lost sleep during my last month of pregnancy because I was worrying about being grossed out by poop diapers and not wanting to change them or anything, and it's not bad at all. It stinks, sure, and I wouldn't want to use it as a face mask or anything, but it's no big deal. It also helps that my formula-fed baby only has one or two poop diapers on an average day.
Other mothers are both the kindest and bitchiest people in the world. I don't know what it is about motherhood that makes you think you need to impart all sorts of advice on other people, especially new mothers, but I kind of hate it. I have had so many people act like it's so precious that I don't always know what I'm doing or that the decisions I'm making for my daughter are questionable, and they have a kid that's only a few months older than mine. While some women have been wonderfully encouraging, all others can take their shitty advice and shove it.
The TV really can freak out a baby. I generally don't like to have the TV on while my daughter is awake because I want to take in as much time with her as possible before I wake up and she's 30. However, in the middle of the night sometimes I have to watch TV in order to stay awake and avoid dropping my child onto the cat curled up in my lap. She seems to enjoy shitty smut TV like Millionaire Matchmaker and Teen Mom, but she despises anything with a ton of flashing lights or explosions. Just like her mama.
